A Choice's Cost
by Erik'sTrueAngel
Summary: Part 5 of Clandestine Trysts. After the birth of Lily-Rose, the two lovers have tough decisions to make and sacrifices must be made. Meanwhile, the Curse is coming…


Rated: M

Genre: Romance/Angst

Summary: Part 5 of Clandestine Trysts. After the birth of Lily-Rose, the two lovers have tough decisions to make and sacrifices must be made. Meanwhile, the Curse is coming…

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of _Once Upon a Time_. When I'm bored, I like to take out my Rumple and Belle dolls and play house with them.

A/N: Okay, that winter finale just about killed me and as I was going through this story… well, you'll see why. Torture is slightly mentioned and it might be a good idea to keep some tissues handy. Also, I'm editing this after my third night of working midnights at a store that is opened for 24 hours to Christmas Eve (which happens to rhyme with Lacy) so I'm a bit sleep deprived and any mistakes were accidentally missed. Thank you again for the lovely reviews! Merry Christmas everyone!

A Choice's Cost

By: Erik'sTrueAngel

"_Oh Gods!" Belle wailed, her head thrown back, her brown curls wet and sticking to her face and pillow._

"_Push my lady! Push!"_

_Seizing the bed, Belle leant forward and pushed with all her strength until she felt her baby slide out of her lower half. The shrilling cry filled the room as the next heir to Avonlea was born._

_Falling back, panting happily, Belle held her arms out. "Let me hold her."_

_The midwife cooed at the little one, bouncing her in her arms._

"_Please!" Belle demanded. "I want to see my child!"_

_The midwife looked at the Queen, her face transforming into Regina. Her purple-painted lips twisted in a terrible grin. "I don't think so my dear. And you have Rumplestiltskin to thank for that."_

_With a chilling laugh, Regina disappeared from the room, the tiny princess vanishing too with only her cries echoing in the empty room. _

_Belle sank back and with a despairing cry, she shouted, "Damn you! I hate you Rumplestiltskin!"_

Rumple started from his sleep, the nightmare vividly fresh as his heart roared in his eardrums. _It wasn't real_, he reminded himself. _Belle's safe. Lily-Rose is safe._

Taking a deep breath, he fell back on the bark of the tree, his arms wrapped tightly around his chest. Ignoring the pang that his beloved and daughter were not there with him, Rumple tried to fall back asleep. Yet, the task proved to be elusive as his mind continuously replayed the hellish dream of Regina kidnapping his child and Belle cursing him with hate in her blue eyes.

_She won't win_, he told himself. _She can't get them. I made sure of it._

But his heart was telling a different story. He knew he did what was best, even if it was a betrayal that could never be forgiven, even if the cost was losing Belle's love. At least he knew they were alive.

Sleep was useless and after traveling so long without the use of magic to keep his whereabouts a secret, Rumple stood as his legs protested adamantly for rest. There will be time for that later… much later… Besides, he had a standing appointment to keep and he didn't want to be late.

He trudged forward in his trek. After a couple of hours passed, Rumple saw smoke in the distance. He was close… he could practically smell the desperation of the soul that loomed ahead. He quickened his pace, knowing he had only one chance to make this right.

With every step, the bag at his hip was hitting him with its weight. He had to get rid of it, but there was time for later to find a better hiding spot. However, paranoia still lurked in the recesses of his mind and he paused long enough to check the precious cargo in his sack.

Lifting the lid open, Rumple reached in, his fingers gliding against the cool object. With his nail, he could feel the engraving of his name on the blade. Assured once more that he was free to do what he willed, Rumple closed the flap and came upon the cottage he had been searching for.

Hiding low in the bushes and trees, he peered out to see a lone girl watching with longing and misery as a carriage was pulling away. Dirt covered her face, her blonde hair messy and tied up in a messy bun, her clothes nothing but rags. She reeked of hopelessness.

Before he could approach the girl, the moment he had been waiting for finally made its appearance. There was a flash of blue light and standing before the stunned girl was her Fairy Godmother.

_Showtime_, Rumplestiltskin thought and stepped out.

xxXXxx

_Three Months Ago…_

Lily-Rose's brown eyes blinked sleepily before burrowing once more in her mother's warmth. Belle kissed the top of her head, humming softly as she rocked the infant.

"She's beautiful," Rumple said in awe.

"Yes." Belle gazed at him, a huge, beaming smile spread across her lips. "I knew the second she was placed in my arms she was yours. There was something imp-like about her."

_His… He has a daughter…_

"I take it your husband—"

"Is disappointed I birthed a daughter, not a son," Belle interrupted. "He doesn't know. His father had brown eyes."

"Then how can you be certain?" he asked, torn over the happiness and the hope that Lily-Rose might not be his. Though, part of him was pushing for her to be wrong.

"I do," Belle retorted, hurt stinging in her blue eyes. "If you look closely, she has your chin." When he didn't make a move to observe for himself, Belle didn't know what to make of his strange behavior. "Rumple, I made you a promise. Lily-Rose is our child. I want us to be together as a family. And once your curse is cast—we'll find Bae and be complete. We will have our happy ending."

Rumple stared into her hopeful expression, her dream so wonderful and he desperately wanted it to be true…

However, Regina loomed in his thoughts. In what should have been one of the happiest days of his life, it was nothing more than a dark stain in his heart. The Evil Queen was who he needed to make finding Baelfire a reality, but now, everything was blurring together. It was more than just Bae he had to consider.

He looked down at the sleeping newborn—a dark tuft of hair already on her head, ten pink fingers clenching and unclenching as one tiny fist grasped the material of Belle's dress. She had the physical attributes of his spinner days, but there was a smidgen of magic stirring within her to make her the daughter of the Dark One.

Although Rumple didn't feel any nasty dark magic… he wondered if it would grow in her over time.

"Rumple?" Belle's voice stirred his thoughts. "I don't want to prolong the truth anymore. We've done enough of that already. I'll tell Gaston tonight and by tomorrow we can start our new lives."

"Belle, you need to rest first," he said, his finger pushing back a loose strand of hair. "We've waited this long so what's another few days?"

Begrudgingly, Belle knew he was right. There was no way she could travel far after giving birth. If anything, she would be slowing them down. Relenting, Belle nodded as his warm lips grazed her forehead.

"When I'm well enough we will go," she insisted.

"Of course. It will give me plenty of time to get what we need together."

A smile flitted over her lips. "Agreed. Now, would you like to hold your daughter?"

She was passed to his embrace, Rumplestiltskin cradling her against his chest like he did long time ago when an infant Baelfire was handed to him. He moved part of the blanket from her face, and in an instant, he felt a spark running through him… his heart overflowing with love as she slept so trustingly in the arms of a monster. And while he rocked Lily-Rose, he knew Belle was right. There was no other choice but to leave.

xXx

It took Belle several days to regain her strength in order to leave the bed. She was upset that they couldn't leave, anxious to start a life with her lover. However, her spirit was renewed with a fierce determination to choose her fate and she was going to get better soon so they could flee Avonlea.

Of course, every second and every minute spent under the roof of her husband, only increased the anxiety that she would have to tell Gaston the truth about Lily-Rose's parentage. It served as a reminder that he was living a lie about being a father and she dreaded breaking his heart, though she knew it was inevitable. He was beginning to warm up to Lily-Rose and Belle hoped the attachment wouldn't deepen, but of course, how could it not when faced with such a little darling? Then again… Gaston had his singular moments.

While Lily-Rose was not a son, Gaston did attempt to spend time with the squabbling baby, yet he was more than eager to hand her off to Belle and leave her be. It was obvious he wasn't comfortable with young children, especially babies and since he could not carry a conversation with the babe… Gaston would be around once a day to see Lily-Rose before immersing himself in some kind of business or ride or hunt.

Perversely, Belle was relieved that Gaston didn't seek Lily-Rose out as often. It would make the separation all the more easier.

And the more time Belle spent with her daughter, the braver she felt. All her life she did what was expected of her, obeying her father's wishes when her heart rallied against it. She knew the moment she accepted Gaston's hand was the moment she was throwing her life away, but in her heart… she was doing what she thought was right. She had a duty to her people and it was the only way she could keep them alive. The last thing she dreamed or expected was to find love in the arms of the Dark One, the most feared person in all of the Enchanted Forest.

Now… she was deciding how her life should be. She was choosing Rumplestiltskin, and together, they will travel to a strange land to find and reunite Bae with his father. That alone was also nerve-wracking. She didn't know what Bae was like or whether or not if he would like her. It was never a question if she would like him… he was Rumple's son and she loved him the instant he spoke to her about him. She only feared that Bae would not come to love her and that he would not be thrilled about a little sister.

It was silly. She knew it. Yet, Bae was her love's whole world… she didn't want him to think that she and Lily-Rose would replace him in his father's heart.

Belle did try voicing this to Rumple, but he kept assuring her that Bae would love her. How could he not? And while it did soothe a little of the anxiety… Belle was still nervous.

Meanwhile, Belle had plenty of time to rehearse what she will say to Gaston. She knew that her people would not be happy that their Queen chose to leave them, but she was confident that Avonlea will do well without her. As for her husband, he had to know that it wasn't working as well as it should. She knew that one day he will find the right woman to love, but unfortunately, that woman was not her.

Maybe it was selfish of her to do this. To make these plans without her husband's knowledge. But Belle couldn't continue living this lie. She thought she could, giving it a try, but that evening of her birthday changed her life and her perspective. She wasn't like the other members of royalty and nobility. She would rather live in impoverished conditions than in luxury. She would rather be with the man she loved and raised their child together than be another man's wife, another object of possession, a trophy to showcase when the time called for it.

Belle wouldn't be able to live with herself if she heard Lily-Rose call Gaston "Papa"—a title that rightfully belonged to Rumplestiltskin. She couldn't torture Rumple like that. He deserved to be with his daughter, and his daughter deserved to know who her Papa is and call him so proudly.

She knew life would be difficult, but it was a sacrifice worth making when true happiness was within their grasp.

When Belle was able to walk a further distance in the castle, she knew it wouldn't be long before she and Rumple would have their freedom.

xXx

Belle was getting stronger and it wouldn't be long before she would have the clearance to ride or travel.

Rumple was running out of time and while his True Love was eagerly awaiting the time when the charade was over… his plans was set in motion and his manipulation was still needed. He already had a vision about Snow White and her Prince Charming and he would be needed urgently to assist the shepherd boy.

And he needed Belle's help.

So once she was declared fit enough to do vigorous activity, Rumple was on pins and needles. He had to be quick and before Belle could summon her husband… Rumple went to her, taking her hands and prostrating before her.

"Belle, my love, there is something we need to do first before we leave."

"What?"

He gazed into her trusting, cobalt eyes and forced himself to do what was next. "I cannot go anywhere unless my dagger is with us. Find it Belle and bring it to me. Then you may speak to your husband about your intentions. As long as he does not possess the dagger, then he cannot harm us and we can live our lives. Together."

Sometimes she forgot about the blasted dagger and its hold over her beloved Dark One. She nodded, her lower lip caught between her teeth. "You're right. We need to retrieve that first before I can talk to Gaston. The last thing I want him to do is reach for the dagger and have you do something irreversible. Do not worry. I will find it and when I do… get Lily-Rose and be ready for our escape. We will need horses to cover more ground than a carriage… magic or no magic. I will meet you by the stables."

"Belle…" he paused, dropping a kiss on the back of her hand. "I don't like the idea you have to speak to him in person. So many things could happen. Leave him a letter."

"I couldn't do that Rumple," she said. "Not after what I've done. Gaston deserves the truth… the truth spoken to him face to face. A letter is the coward's way."

"If anything happens… say my name Belle," Rumplestiltskin demanded. "Say my name and I will come to you."

"I trust it won't get to that point. But I will."

"I love you Belle. Don't forget." Rumple stood, helping her up, their hands still intertwined.

"I won't. I love you too."

The kiss was urgent and while Belle loved Rumple's frantic need for her… something didn't sit right. She couldn't put her finger on it when she gazed into his adoring eyes and shrugged it off as nerves. They were taking a big step here and she knew Gaston would be angry… but it was the right to do now she realized. Her place was beside Rumplestiltskin. This was where she belonged.

Giving his hands an assuring squeeze, Belle gave her lover another kiss on his mouth. "The stables," she reminded him.

He nodded, his sight never leaving hers until she left the room.

xXx

Getting the dagger wasn't difficult. Since their wedding, Gaston had been lax about keeping the blade on him at all times. He had kept insisting Belle should take control of it and command the Dark One as she was mistress now. After Belle discovered she was with child and she left with Rumple the first time to find David, she accepted the burden of the dagger in case she got into trouble. Since then Gaston made sure the dagger was locked up so she could reach it if she was ever in danger. Luckily, she never had to use it but she could understand Rumple's trepidation.

The dagger had its allure, whispering in her ear to use it, to command, to take control. The lure was seductive and she caught herself as her hand strayed to her side to touch it, but she would remember herself and all temptation was wiped from her mind. She never told Rumple this, but she had a feeling he must have known during their journey. He never commented on it nor did he judge her for her moment of weakness. But he didn't have to… Belle recognized it for herself and that self-awareness helped keep her from making any commands of her lover.

Now… Belle was faced once again with the dangerous foe.

She stepped towards his dressing table where a stuffed wild Jackalope sat on its hunches, its antlers three feet high, with its front paws ready to pounce on an unsuspecting prey. Of course, it was no ordinary stuffed trophy and Belle had to admit the ingenious of it, especially since there were other similar ornaments that adorned the room as well as throughout the castle. Gaston may not have been the brightest person, but at least he knew how to hide a powerful weapon.

She reached over to pick up a slim, short pocket knife. Of course, it only looked like one. Belle unfolded it to reveal a small key. Her fingers danced along the soft fur of its stomach, finding a tiny keyhole. She inserted the knife-key inside and twisted it to the left. There was an audible soft "click" as it gave way and the Jackalope split down the middle of its belly, parting like a box.

Belle pulled out the dagger by its handle, the blade gleaming in the light as the word _Rumplestiltskin _winked at her. She never really got a good look at it… of course, she didn't have the desire to study it, but now… she got her fill of it.

It was an unusual, strange dagger by all appearance. Both ends of the knife were jagged, yet incredibly smooth to the touch and the tip was a dark scarlet color… blood to be precise. From the gleam of the metal, the color looked almost wet… fresh to be exact. However, the color was as part of the dagger as it must have been forged to give it that eerie, disturbing feel to whoever holds the magical weapon.

Belle shuddered. The dagger was pure evil… its stench was putrid enough with the scent of past condemning souls that have held and been used by its many masters. She didn't want to imagine what this dagger would do to Gaston or Rumple if they kept it for any much longer. As soon as she, Rumple, and Lily-Rose were far away from Avonlea… she would convince Rumple to find a way to get rid of it. There had to be a cure from this horrible curse and she would find it to keep her little family safe.

Her stomach was coiling in disgust and she had to get that dagger out of her sight… the sooner, the better. She slammed the Jackalope closed and left the key the way it was before padding away as quickly as possible without bringing too much attention to herself. The dagger was hidden in her dress, her skin cold and clammy at the feel of its pressure.

She was all too relieved to hand it over to Rumple, her hand rubbing over where she kept it to bring some warmth back to the part of her that still felt the icy residue.

"You are released from your bondage Rumplestiltskin," Belle told him, her heart skipping a beat at the look of pure joy on his face. Once the dagger was in the palm of his hand… she saw a quick flit of his features twisting in a garish way, his eyes nearly black as midnight as his lips curled into a snarl that he looked every bit of the untamed Dark One from the stories told about him. As soon as it appeared… it was gone and it was her Rumple standing before her, his warm amber eyes staring at her with love.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I never thought it would happen…"

"You're free now to make your decisions," she added. "No man will ever control you. I'll make sure of it."

He inhaled sharply at her loving proclamation and he believed her. She had many chances to control him, but she didn't. She chose to believe in the good in him and now here it was… the ultimate sign of her infallible trust in her lover. She returned his dagger to him, knowing he could take revenge on Gaston if he chose to. But for her… he would spare the foolish King.

Yet, he couldn't ignore the slight pinch in his chest as she reached for his shoulders, standing on her toes, as she pressed her lips to his.

"Fetch our daughter. It won't be long before we are both free for good."

He nodded and with a wave of his hand, the violet haze surrounded him and he was gone.

There was one last thing Belle had to do. With her head lifted high, Belle turned on her heels to seek out her husband for the last time.

xXx

It had been pure luck that Hannah stumbled upon the letter in her lady's chambers. And… it was very fortunate that Hannah knew some of her letters in order to read her lady's name.

As for the rest of the letter… she couldn't make it out exactly what was written, but she ventured a guess it was from the Dark One. After her impromptu confrontation, she knew the Dark One _did _have feelings for her mistress. And seeing the letter she had a feeling something happened… and that something wasn't good.

Snatching the parchment off the vanity, Hannah took off running in search for her Queen. She was all too grateful to catch her walking beside her King as they were heading towards the library to have a private conversation.

Stopping in front of them, Hannah made a hasty bow and breathlessly told her lady that she had a letter of an urgent matter that required her immediate attention. A quizzical frown marred her lady's features as she accepted the paper. Meanwhile, the King looked on with impatience as he crossed his arms, his voice stern as he reprimanded Hannah for interrupting them.

Yet, it was her lady who held her hand up to stop him and responding that Hannah was in the right to bring it to her. Her voice—usually full of spirits—had quivered, which confirmed Hannah's suspicions. The letter wasn't good.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you Gaston. The m-matter that I wanted to discuss with you… it looks like it was cleared up after all. I w-won't need to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

Rolling up the letter, the Queen forced a smile as she at last looked at him. "It was going to be a surprise… but I decided to have a feast in honor of the anniversary for no more attacks by the ogres."

That perked his attention. "That's an excellent idea Belle! You know what? You should send an invite to your mother's family. I have yet to meet them."

"R-right," she answered weakly. "I'll do that…"

Once the King was gone, Hannah gasped as her lady began to swoon. She caught her before she collapsed, the Queen's shoulders shaking as she looked to her maid with pained eyes. "Hannah… can you take me to my quarters? And bring Lily-Rose too. I-I need to see her."

"Of course, my lady," Hannah said, helping her on her feet. "If it's not too bold of me my lady… but the letter… is it from… _him_?" she spoke the last word in a whisper and her answer was a choked sob.

Once her lady was safe in the privacy of her rooms, Hannah felt the wetness of her own tears as she heard the Queen weeping, the letter she knew… clutched tightly in her white hands.

The Dark One… he was gone.

xxXXxx

The first few days were too difficult for Rumplestiltskin.

Yes… he took the coward's way out by leaving Belle a letter telling her that he was leaving without her. He was a bigger coward for telling her that he never loved her, that Lily-Rose was not his for she had no magic in her, and that he made sure that his words were caustic and biting enough to thank her for returning his power back to him.

_I no longer need you dearie_… those departing words haunting him even as he penned them. Yet, the final blow was to make sure she never came looking for him… to make her believe he never loved her in the first place.

_My power will always mean more to me than you and if you believe the contrary… then you are far more gullible and naïve than I thought. After all, not all men can be trusted, especially ones with an agenda, and you, dearie, fell for it so easily. And since you did me such a favor in freeing me, I am leaving you with this little tidbit of advice in gratitude—a man's pretty words to a woman is a sure way to get under her skirts. Thank you for being so trustworthy and being a very good fuck after all these centuries. _

He wanted to be cruel and crude and monstrous so she will hate him. He wanted to hurt her and add salt to the wounds so she will feel used, a whore, and a fool. And… he hoped she showed the letter to her husband. What a slap in the face it would be to know his little "pet" was no longer his and that **he**—the Dark One—sampled the Queen's offerings. It would crush the King's ego and make him so angry with the imp that he would forgive his little wife for being misguided and tricked by the beast for using her compassion as manipulation. The affair would bring them closer together and Belle will see that she loved her husband more than him.

Never mind that Rumple felt the power of True Love trying to change him… he had to believe it wasn't real. That the spark was all in his mind and that he and Belle were never meant to be. And if it meant by driving her in the arms of his rival—her husband—so be it. At least she will be safe from Regina's sight. The Evil Queen will have no reason to go after her, to use her against Rumplestiltskin. As long as the charade continues and it is believed that Lily-Rose is Gaston's daughter.

Belle was a smart woman. She wouldn't admit that he was the father to avoid her daughter from being bastardized. She would never risk the child's exposure to ridicule or scandal if the truth was out. She would keep it a secret for the rest of her life and none would be the wiser.

As for the magic he sensed… Belle will discover it and she will take the necessary steps to cover it up so no one will know the Dark One had fathered Lily-Rose. She was resourceful and imaginative… she would come up with a lie to protect her child.

However, Rumple's true agony was knowingly Belle would despise him and he would forever love her and that would be their fates for the rest of their lives. He will never know his daughter and he will never see her grow up into a beautiful young woman with her mother's long, curly dark hair and his mischievous eyes.

He will suffer the heartache, to endure all the anguish, in order to keep his family alive. And he won't ever regret that… but it didn't mean it made the pain bearable.

There were so many times he wanted to turn back, to go to Belle, fall to his knees, and beg her forgiveness and hope by the mercy of the Gods that she still loved him and would come with him.

To Hell with Regina and her threats…

Yet, he was too much of a coward to do so. Even when he heard Belle's voice summoning him… he kept a deafened ear to her, ignoring her attempts until only silence followed. He couldn't go back… he couldn't.

However, he was a weak man and he proved it by listening to any words of gossip or rumors that were spoken about her. It was his only chance to hear her name spoken aloud and he disgusted himself whenever he felt pleasure wash over him because of it. Between the chatter and the chipped tea cup he kept on him at all times… Rumple allowed this connection to his beloved.

In fact, there was many a night he would hold the cherished talisman to his heart, her name a silent prayer on his lips as he recalled those blissful days when he shared her company in his jail cell. Sometimes… he dreamt about those days and as wonderful as they were… his dreams would instantly transformed to incurring nightmares that always ended the same way. He would become the beast that Belle should have feared and she would always be left in the cold cell… alone and heartbroken.

His conscience would never forgive him and it made damn sure he never forgot what his actions would do to his sweet, innocent Belle.

Of course, the last thing he wanted to do was forget her. Unlike Snow White who was desperate to forget her True Love. However, thoughts of Belle were never far from his mind.

She was in the forefront of his thoughts as he found Prince Charming lost in the Never-ending Forest where they dueled until the Prince agreed to his terms. He admitted to the handsome fool that he loved once too and that she was "a brief flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness." It didn't faze him that Charming thought the idea that the Dark One could love was… unsettling. Yet, the Prince appeared empathetic and wanted to know what happened.

"_She no longer loves me," Rumple said, the grief flickering in his amber eyes. _

"_Why?"_

"_Because I'm a beast, dearie."_

Belle was still there as he watched from a distance as Snow and Charming reunited, the ripples of True Love's kiss passing through him. He closed his eyes and pictured her flawless features, her ruby lips, and those striking azure eyes. He imagined her words of love and devotion as she kissed him…

…And he remembered that he was alone. Belle was in Avonlea with their daughter and her husband… She was still happily married and the last he had heard was how she might be with child again.

That had been days ago and while a part of him knew he had no reason to be upset (he forfeited that right when he left her)… he couldn't help the churning of his stomach that he had lost her for good. She moved on like he wanted her to and instead of relief… he was miserable.

After that, he kept away from the gossip. He didn't want to hear any more about her pregnancy and he especially didn't want to know if it was a boy or a girl. Although, he did hear how they celebrated Lily-Rose's first birthday and how Belle had simply glowed that day.

Suffice to say... in his red haze he turned some poor soul into an animal. He couldn't remember exactly what or who… but even that didn't make him feel better.

The months passed and Snow and her prince were wedded and they reclaimed their kingdoms. He knew Regina made her threat on their wedding day about the Curse… so far his plan was still going as well as to be expected. Any moment the Curse would be enacted, but first… he needed to be captured.

xxXXxx

_Present_

Sitting with his back pressed against the dank wall, Rumple mused over the irony that his life started in a jail cell and his current life will end in one. Of course, he expected to be dead before the Curse was enacted once news spread of his capture.

Yet, to his disappointment… King Gaston and his Queen never stormed the underground dungeon to demand his head on the platter. Despite all this time in keeping Belle away and from never finding him… he wanted her to find him now before everything they knew was torn apart. Just one glimpse of her was all he needed, but he never received any visitors, except when Snow and her husband came to ask him about the Curse.

To his delight, the pure princess was with child. The last piece of the puzzle was at hand and he had a name now…

_Emma._

A good, strong name that would transcend this land as well as the one they were about to be transported to.

_Emma_.

The Savior.

_Emma_.

The only one to break the Curse and restore their memories…

_Emma_.

The only name that would bring Rumplestiltskin back first.

_Emma_.

He scribbled the name over and over and over again. And as he reached the bottom of the scroll… he wrote _Lily-Rose_. He didn't want to forget his daughter either. He did have hope that in the next World… he may be reunited with her and Bae. Even if he lost Belle's love for good… he hoped that he could win his daughter's heart and earn her forgiveness.

When he had no ink to write, Rumple continued his mutterings of _Emma_ and _Lily-Rose_ over and over. As long as he repeated them, he couldn't forget.

However, he was interrupted by the shrill squeaking of a rat and he stopped mid-chant as a growl formed on his lips.

"Regina…"

The rat scurried closer to him and he watched as a black cloud poof the vermin into the scourge of his existence.

"Hello Rumple."

Getting to his feet, he charged towards the bars and wrapped his talons tightly around them causing his knuckles to turn practically white. "What do you want?" he spat.

"Your Curse!" Glaring at him, she strode close enough to level her face with his. "It didn't work."

"It didn't? You must have done something wrong."

"Please. I'm not the naïve apprentice I once was," she sneered. "I followed the instructions and you did not deliver Rumple. I wanted revenge on Snow White! And all I got for it was ridicule and laughter!"

Knowing perfectly well what was missing, Rumple could not contain his glee as he laughed in his high-pitch voice. "Well… if you paid close attention to the fine print… you would realize you didn't follow the ingredients to the tee, hmm?"

"What do you mean you little imp?"

"I'm going to take a wild guess here and say it was something very crucial to the spell. Of course… I tell you what it is for a price."

Regina grunted. "Fine. What do you want?"

"I have conditions for the Curse."

"All right, all right. Just tell me what I did wrong."

He began rumbling out the various ingredients, which she gave him a perfunctory nod for each. Except… "The heart of the thing you love most?"

"I sacrificed the heart of my most prized steed. It wasn't easy to do."

"A h-horse?" Rumple snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Really dearie? An animal? You couldn't have thought of something better instead?"

"What are you suggesting? There is no other thing I love. Besides… the one I did love is dead… Still no thanks to you."

"Think harder, dearie," he taunted. "There is something—or should I say… someone else."

Her eyes widened as what he was implying. "No," she whispered in horror, faltering a bit. "You don't possibly mean…"

"Oh. I do dearie. I do." He nodded with a curl of his lip.

For a brief moment, Regina was reduced back to the same little, lost girl that he met years ago when she contacted him for lessons. Then as quickly as it overcame her… the Evil Queen slid back in place, her countenance devoid of any feeling kind of emotion. Only a glint of a promise that revenge was soon to be at hand sparkled in those cold eyes.

"Very well. If it what must be done."

"It is," he conceded.

Regina began to turn away from him, but she paused and glanced back. "I must say Rumple… you're taking this awfully well."

"Not the first time I spent time in a cage," he told her.

She laughed. "No, no. Not that. I mean… _her_."

His heart skipped a beat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't," she chided, clicking her tongue. "You never do but there is always this tiny little slip you make and I know that isn't so."

"Get to the point and leave. Tick tock dearie if you want your curse to work," he growled, hoping she would leave and let him be.

"You really should be careful on who you anger Rumple. After our 'chat' in that cottage, I was biding my time to strike next. But then… you surprised me. Everything that I planned to do to your slut and child was nothing compared to what you did. You did enough damage on your own so I feel I should thank you again."

"What?" his voice wavered, the false bravado starting to crack.

"Oh yes… broke the Queen's tender heart didn't you. Poor silly thing refused to come out of her room and all she did was sat by her window looking out and waiting that you would come back. Eventually, it wasn't long for that King of hers to put two-and-two together once the dagger was missing and you with it. He confronted her and she admitted to helping you escape in the hope you would take her and… what was the brat's name again? Tulip? No, Margie."

"Lily-Rose," Rumplestiltskin whispered.

Regina snapped her fingers. "Yes. He learned that his precious wife wasn't as faithful as he would have liked. And the fact that it was someone like you… well, you certainly knew how to cut his manhood. He was _disgusted_ with her. Couldn't bear to look at her or touch her. And the baby… he couldn't be in the same room as she without cursing her and her whore of a mother. Did you know he locked them up in a tower? Away from her books and her dearest and closest friends? Yet… despite her betrayal he couldn't completely condemn her. He made a promise to her dying father he would always take care of her and as an honorable man… he couldn't go back on his word. And when people were asking about her… well, he couldn't hide her away for the rest of her life.

"I suppose in some strange way… he still loved her. He wanted to be the knight in shining armor. So he sent the child to the fairies to see if there was any way they could remove your influence from her. Turns out… they didn't have to. The child was actually his all along. You must have cast some kind of spell to make that insipid Queen of yours think the baby was yours."

"No!" Rumple shouted, his eyes brimming with tears. "Lily-Rose is _mine_! I sensed magic in her!"

"You poor man," Regina pouted with her lower lip, teasing and mocking him. "You wanted to believe it and you only imagined you sensed magic. But she is King Gaston's. As for your wanton tart—"

"Her name is Belle!"

Regina rolled her eyes. "As I was saying… your _tart_ was denied the right to see her daughter unless she renounced her love for you and allowed herself to be cleansed from your tainted hands. She was stubborn as you could imagine in the beginning, yet it wasn't long before she did what was asked of her. She said she didn't love you and that you must have bewitched her to make her think she had feelings so you would escape. As for the cleansing, she submitted herself to the clerics where they used whips to punish the flesh for giving into your lustful whims. She crawled back to him… crawled right up to him and professed her love for only her husband and she begged for forgiveness. And now they are living happily ever after I hear… she's expecting again and there is no sign that she misses you in the slightest."

"You're _lying_." He refused to believe his Belle would have given in so easily to those demands. She would have fought to see her daughter and she would have defended their True Love…

_But he never told her that was what they had. He never told her how her kiss had tried to change him back into a man._

"Think about it Rumple! Had it ever occurred to you why there wasn't knights scouring the lands for your head? Why no poster or reward was posted to capture you? And why you are still breathing after news has been spread about your imprisonment now? The girl's real father is on the throne and her mother has repented and atoned for her sins for lying with you. You didn't win a thing, except your darling dagger and the free control of your power."

"No…" His knees gave in, falling hard to the ground. "No…"

"It's over for them Rumple. You're no longer a concern to them. The kingdom is flourishing and the married couple is now stronger than ever. You couldn't have expected her to pine for you forever now, could you?"

"No, no."

Regina bent at her waist to gaze down at the broken man behind the cell. "That's more like it. This is a much more befitting punishment than handing your dagger over to a fool. You destroyed yourself Rumple and I didn't have to lift a finger. We're even now."

Returning to her full height, Regina's skirts kicked back at him as she began to move away, but he reached out, grabbing the fabric to keep her from leaving.

"Wait."

Regina looked back, sighing impatiently. "What Rumple?"

"M-my conditions. We made a deal."

She dropped her shoulders. "Right. What are they?"

"First, I want to be well off. I want for nothing."

"Power and wealth. Got it. Anything else?"

"Belle." The name rolling off his tongue as he visibly shook. "I want her and Lily-Rose to have the best things in this new land. I don't want them suffering."

That one threw Regina and she arched her brow in astonishment. "You would want that for her after what I told you what happened?"

"Yes," he insisted, his eyes filled with honesty. "I don't want her to be hurt anymore."

"All right. I'll make sure your strumpet and brat is well off and moderately happy. This is my happy ending after all."

"Of course," he sneered back. "But most importantly… I don't want you near them. You have no business in putting your nasty claws in them. You will let them live their lives and you will not interfere in their business. Is that clear?"

"Yes." Regina tapped her foot. "Are we done?"

"One last thing." Rumple drew himself up and made direct eye contact. "You have to do anything I say when I say the word—_please_."

"Seriously Rumple? You're not going to remember half of these demands."

"Ah, ah. We made a deal and you have to honor it. What's the harm? After all, I will lose my memories too."

Regina eyed him warily, distrust flickering in her eyes. "I will agree to all of your terms. Even the last one. That's it Rumple. We're done dealing for good."

"I couldn't have agreed more," he said.

With a flick of her hand, Regina vanished in the haze of violet clouds.

It was finished.

Rumple rested his forehead against the bars and took in a shaky breath. All these centuries, especially these past months, of hard work were finally paying off. He was going to find his boy in this new land without magic.

He was going to be secured with enough money to travel and Belle… _his _Belle and Lily-Rose will be taken care of and Regina won't hurt them. He was only too happy to have her accept those conditions, regardless if Belle was truly happy without him.

Part of him didn't want to believe Regina, but he also heard the same rumors of a new baby on the way. As for the rest… he never heard if she was locked up, but knowing the King's bouts of selfishness—he probably made sure that no one knew of this so he wouldn't be the laughingstock of the Enchanted Forest. It filled him with rage that Gaston allowed Belle to be hurt. Yes… he was at fault but he didn't have to inflict injury on her.

He wondered if he somehow did get a hold of the letter he left for Belle.

While he had hoped Gaston would, he did not think the knight was capable of being so cruel to a woman. Even one as sweet and kind-hearted as Belle.

Gods… he was no better than those clerics wielding those whips.

Rumple wept for his love and for all the pain he caused. He thought him leaving would be better… that she would be safer without him. He never dreamt that turning his back would result in this heartache.

That night, when he did manage to fall asleep, his nightmare was different.

This time… he dreamt of Belle crying out in pain as the lash fell upon her smooth back, marring the beautiful, ivory skin that he had worshipped ages ago. With each flick there would be a new line of blood dripping down her—some of it flying and hitting the wall. As she sobbed, she would be shouting:

"_Rumplestiltskin! I loved you! I loved you!"_

Suddenly, a mirror appeared in front of the hysterical Queen and Rumple saw his reflection glaring back as he held the whip. It was him and another him staring back and it was the other Rumplestiltskin that controlled the strap as it crashed down on Belle over and over.

"_That was where your troubles lie… you loved me."_

He woke up screaming.

xxXXxx

In the early dawn, a loud thunderous roar echoed across the Enchanted Forest. The sheer force of it had the ground shaking as an ominous heavy black fog started to pour over the land. It devoured everything in its wake—never stopping and increasing in its speed. Trees were ripped from their roots, animals sent off running, homes torn apart only to be swept up in the thick tendrils of the black magic.

As for the screams… there were none. The cloud swallowed everything, including the sounds of panicked people.

Rumplestiltskin sat in the center of his cell, calm and collective, his body pulsating with the high energy of the powerful magic that was growing closer. He could feel the tiny electrical impulses as his hair stood on its ends.

Closing his eyes, he took one deep inhale as his prison exploded around him. As debris flew around him… not a single piece of it touched him as he waited for the moment of oblivion when he would wake up in a new world… with a new life.

_Three… two… one…_

He opened his eyes and Mr. Gold smiled.

Today was going to be a great day.

The End

Up next… Part 6 of the Clandestine Trysts—_Welcome to Storybrooke_.


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